A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

The shared reality, or mind (or world) that is created in relationship with another person is mutually arrived at, dynamically changing (perhaps a sign of a healthy relationship), and is constantly being (re)created by the mutual understanding of who and what each person is together.

Of course, if one or both are “in fear” and not showing up entirely as they are … or if one or the other begins disapproving, passing judgment or boxing the partner in some way… than the world created between each is essentially inauthentic and lacking in love. Love, I believe, means a total acceptance of the other exactly as they are (and are not).

Total acceptance is NOT an easy task for either individual … and certainly a daily challenge as a human being walking around interacting on planet Earth … and all the more difficult when love, intimacy, vulnerability, and our hearts are on the line.

What about the idea of having one Mr./Ms. Right? Is there only one person, our better half, soul mate, “true love,” for us, somewhere, out there?

I believe there are many Mr. & Ms. Rights. Between the two people, there definitely needs to be that special spark, attraction, “gel”, love, connection, desire, whatever term fits best. So even a seemingly perfect match, without the “heat” will be a no-go. And sometimes the timing is not right. Karma is operating. Whatever…

What about Soul Mates? I believe, soul mates are perhaps a particularly attractive match that has had many opportunities (lifetimes of a variety of different relationship contexts, husband/wife, brother/sister, enemies, friends, what have you) to be in relationship together.

And sometimes, is just … Mr/Ms Right Now.

Regardless, what comes to mind on this topic of relationship is a wonderful quotation that I will offer at length, and I think is fitting whether you are in love or friendship:

A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime?

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason, you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway), and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life…..

Copyright 2000 – Brian A. “Drew” Chalker