Dr. Mercola debunks the Agave myth

Shit, and I thought I was doing so well transitioning to a “low-glycemic index” sweetener. Little did I know that Agave actually contains almost TWICE as much sugar per gram as High Fructose Corn Syrup!!

Mercola goes onto explain in good detail — please ignore his soapbox style of delivering quality facts — why sugar consumption is such a key issue with our current American obesity epidemic. He also details, quite interestingly, the differences between fructose, glucose, and sucrose; and how they are each absorbed and processed by our bodies.

Man, do we need a nutrition primer in our schools! There is so much to learn and know, just so we can walk down a grocery aisle and make a halfway decent attempt at eating healthy!

Please checkout Dr. Joseph Mercola’s blog here: The Huffington Post: “This sweetener is far worse than High Fructose Corn Syrup.”

Exploring full self-expression through the ZEGG Forum

I attended an interesting experiment in community living, personal growth, and full self-expression last night. Calling itself the ZEGG Forum, this is a group of advocates for a completely transparent community. Weekly, they participate in a performance ritual that allows each person to express themselves authentically and in a safe space.

I was quite taken by the real, palpable, and honest full self-expression and safety of the group. I noticed that witnessing each person’s genuine presentation of their individual situation was at once extraordinary and frightening. The feeling of true and real expression was life affirming and beautiful to behold. While, knowing in this space there was no place for me to hide. Any inauthentic way of being or subtle separation I build was easily seen through. That for me was truly uncomfortable. My one true desire is to be witnessed for all that I am; light and dark. And to know there is a place available for that is absolutely unnerving for my ego.

I highly recommend going to an Open ZEGG Forum and witnessing the process and experiencing how you feel and are in that environment. You may be uncomfortable or even fearful … but I invite you to look past your initial reaction. I found that the reason I felt this way is because I am so used to hiding certain parts of myself. This allows me to feel safe in the world as I go about my every day. Here, though, those masks and veils fall away and real human being is laid bare. It is exhilarating to feel so alive, even in the face of my own ego fears.

Here on the island of Maui, there are regular meeting locations in Makawao, Kihei, and Kula. To see if there is an “Open Forum” opportunity near you on Maui, contact the New Culture Center and ask how you can learn more about the ZEGG community on Maui.

ZEGG is not just the Forum, but also an experiment in community living

Here is a presentation on how ZEGG Communities are organized in an attempt to answer the questions:

• How is living together possible without fear and violence?
• How does life unfold itself when cooperation replaces competition and key questions of humankind for contact and trust become the central focus?

Find out more at the international ZEGG website. I find their principles inspiring:

• Consciousness in love
• Responsibility for the Earth

See also Global EcoVillage Network to learn more about alternative communities seeking to establish “concrete utopias” which provide alternatives to the consumption oriented culture and strategies for communication and reconciliation.

William Faulkner Believes in Us; Perhaps I Can Too

This quote was taken from William Faulkner’s acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Literature in December 1950:

“I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal simply because he will endure: that when the last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet’s voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.”

Alternative Health is Getting Mainstream Attention

Recently several articles have come out beginning to point out and draw attention to the benefits of alternative medicine. As the Obama Administration begins to tentatively approach the topic of reforming our healthcare system, keep on eye on these discussions as they will become more heated and vocal.

Personally I believe any healthcare reform MUST include advocacy and inclusion of alternative, complementary, herbal, “asian-healing”, and other forms of health treatment that fall under the general heading of “alternative.” This medical approach to healing must include the human, touch, emotional, mind-body, and patient history for treatments to become relevant, effective, and ultimately worthwhile. I trust we’re moving slowly in that direction.

Here are several articles that I’ve reviewed recently that I think are worth checking out:

The horrors of modern medicine, insurance, and costs of doing business:
Health System from Hell, by Kate Michelman.

Fantastic article by Deepak Chopra giving an overview of the situation:
Mainstream Medicine & the Oprah Factor, on Intent.com.

Recent Associated Press article on Alternative Medicine and its impact on hospitals:
Alternative Medicine Goes Mainstream.

Here are some other links that will bring you some awareness of other education centers, non-profits, and more doing work in this arena:

University of Minnesota, Center for Spirituality & Healing: One of a kind, educational center working with its medical and nursing programs to better understand the interplay of healing and spirituality!

Guaranteed Healthcare.org: Grass-roots organization advocating universal healthcare coverage.

North Hawaii Community Hospital: Hospital utilizing complementary and holistic healing approaches.

Are you thinking about Change?

The healing experience will no doubt be the subject for multiple blog entries (for years to come), but what I know truly is that change only lasts once it has arrived and been “ingrained” in the physical body (literally has become a part of our cells). I believe health is a “top down” access. This follows a step down of integration that starts with a our spiritual health, progresses to the mental map that orients our experience of the egoic self, passes through our emotional expression, and finally ends up as the building blocks of the specific body we develop (and yes we continue to physically develop from “in utero” to the point of death).

I will leave the “spirit” conversation for now as that may not afford you the tangible reality that the healing process is a true representation of. For most Americans, healing starts first in the mind.

The desire to change can be motivated for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the pain is too much, the body ache is overwhelming, the tiredness is simply not motivating, or the experience of who you are in the world is not a true representation of who you want to be or how you want to be known. These mismatches in our mental understanding of self point to the need for change. The trouble is actually a motivating force for action; and a “negative” emotion, actually is “energy-in-motion” causing us to feel the real impact of our incomplete self. This is not a bad thing … otherwise, how will anything change?

After a time, most everyone comes to realize that the communications they are receiving, whether from their body (strongest motivating force: pain), from their mind (strongest motivating force: frustration or displeasure with how life is, the thought, that something is not right here), from their relationships (I don’t have the love, trust, or friendships that I want), from their work (unfulfilled, angry, disconnected from who they are and what they do), from … well, pick your situation. The motivating force for change is different for each individual and must be personally addressed, realized, and (if warranted) translated into action.

Some people are more action oriented than others. Some recognize the value in needing to do something about their situation, others just don’t know that they can do something about it. Perhaps blame is placed on another, on work, on money, on life, on God, what have you… In my opinion any comparison to another (look at John, he’s so much more motivated than I am) or judgment of self/other (I’m not good enough) is simply a waste of time and energy.

Although I must add, even though I know this through and through in my being, it doesn’t change the fact that at times these simple judgments and comparisons happen to me too. Just because your mind wants a “pity-party” doesn’t mean you are a bad person. It’s best to find someone willing to listen to your thoughts and not feed them. The sooner you find a compassionate and loving listener who can see through the B.S. to the light in you, the better!

To support any change, no matter how difficult, the first and most empowering stance to take, regardless of the situation, is to look to see how am I responsible for its presence in my life? (See Ho’oponopono blog post for a Hawaiian healing practice that works with this basic premise.) Most people understand the old adage: that the definition of crazy is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Ideally, you will understand (when the time is right or you are simply sick of the results) that it is time to get into action.

Our mind is the most powerful motivating force on the planet (and on the flipside, it can also be the most powerful delaying, procrastinating, arguing, and discounting force) … so be aware of what you think and pay special attention to what is motivating your change in perspective. Where do your thoughts go? What do you feel as they arrive? Which ones repeat, argue with you, or wake you up at night?

Here is where that compassionate and loving individual can support you in overcoming the seemingly insurmountable hurdle of our own ingrained mental habits and attitudes. Be it a family member, friend, or most empowering a holistic health coach (therapist, mentor, teacher, spiritual guru), i.e. a loving individual that sees all you are and holds powerfully your capability of changing whatever you want … simply because it is your life!

Bottom line, if you are thinking about change, don’t keep it to yourself. Seek out support. Get a listening ear and share what you want. Take action by translating thoughts into words and you will feel what the best next step is for you. And if it isn’t clear, a proper support system will help to offer suggestions and guidance that empowers forward momentum so you can have all that you desire.

Breaking up is Hard to Do

Recently a friend wrote me sharing about the difficulty he was having during a break-up. I responded with the note below and I felt it valuable enough to post for all. May it serve you:

“I know how difficult a break-up can be, not to say I have any clue how difficult it may be feeling for you right now. I just remember my own upsets and remember clearly the feeling of wanting a person back, even when at the time of break-up, the voices (and feelings?) were a clear no-go for continuing the relationship.

It is often true about the old adage, hindsight is 20-20, can creep in during a breakup. Suddenly the problems, shadows, feelings, words, and incompatibilities are dimmed or forgotten; and the pain and loss of touch speak louder than the past.

Recently I read, in The Tipping Point, a point that Malcolm Gladwell made that between a couple (in my opinion, especially between a pair who have lived together), a “shared mind” is created. This is a mutually created understanding of the world, where each partner holds different facets of the shared reality. The strengths and foibles of each partner latches onto parts of the sharing; and thus becomes master of that/those domain(s).

When a breakup occurs, the shared reality is shattered. Parts of our experience are no longer held by the partner, forcing us to shine the light of conscious back into areas of ourselves that were formerly held by the partner. This isn’t fun. It is a deep stress to the body-mind politic. That which we entrusted to another is no longer handled. The points of security (watch-towers they built in the relationship) are no longer occupied. We are open to attack, vulnerable, and in my experience, questioning of our “Selves”.

This is perhaps the hardest part: piecing back together all the parts that were lost (and voluntarily) given away during the construction of a shared relationship. It’s a bit like amnesia. You’re waking up my friend. Parts of your experience have been deeply asleep…

And it may well be that this breakup was “forced” by those parts of yourself that were given away/suppressed for the benefit of the relationship. Be vigilant with your thoughts, feelings, desires, and visions. These are the parts of yourself waking up. This is the gold you have an opportunity to profit from with this change.”

Touch is the best medicine for relieving pain

An article in Prevention highlights that when we are rejected by other human beings, our brain registers it the same way as physical pain. An experiment conducted at UCLA tracked that when players were rejected by other unseen players during a computer game, their Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC) lit up just as if they were physically injured.

The takeaway is that our brain does not know the difference between social and physical pain, in that either experience is potentially harmful to the organism and thus is actively avoided. In the past, when our human society was much more in need of each other to protect ourselves from the elements and other predators, it meant death to be rejected and ostracized from our community. Today that old wiring remains and gets set-off when we receive a social snub from another.

In my experience of working with clients, a physical injury can lead to long term problems, like limping, joint pain, splinting, and avoiding or limiting use. Similarly, emotional pain, whether experienced from their family, schoolmates, work, or other social situations, is remembered as painful and cause long-term effects and patterns. These individuals have learned that others are not safe to be around because they may cause them pain. This emotional pain pattern creates fear and expectations that have a dramatic impact on their ability to live freely and thrive.

It is extraordinary to think that both ends of the spectrum can make life unbearable for human beings: living without people or living WITH people! But it remains true that if emotional pain patterns of rejection, judgment, low self-esteem, and other negative ways of being get established early on, than the individual is left to suffer with the belief that people are not to be trusted. You can imagine how that affects their ability to feel love, safety and freedom in partnerships, family, work, and more.

Bodywork has the extraordinary capability of diffusing these patterns while affirming an individual’s sense of well-being and personal safety. In receiving consistent, therapeutic, and supportive touch, a direct communication is received by the deepest layers of subconscious, that humans CAN be trusted and that the client is worthy of feeling good and being accepted. It is a joy to work with individuals who are initially hesitant or even fearful of deeper intimacy and connection, who over time and consistent effort, find they open up “in spite” of themselves. Touch has an ability to circumvent the beliefs of the mind and interrupt thinking patterns that might otherwise try to avoid social contact and vulnerability with others. Touch speaks louder than any words as its impact and energy can be immediately felt and embodied.

Remember too, that as an infant, we are completely dependent on our mother to provide loving nurturing touch and connection. It is a deep human need to be loved, accepted, and encouraged by touch. In fact, studies of infants not regularly touched (say at orphanages) show that these children have delays in neurological function and sociability.

Consider the implications of the article biochemically (this is where the science comes in): touch releases endorphins to assist with relieving pain (it is exactly why we rub injured areas). Additionally, nerve impulses that send “good” feelings are mylentated and thus “out-run” the impulses that carry pain signals. In my experience of working with people of all ages and backgrounds, bodywork’s ability to leave everyone feeling good, safe, stable, and “grounded” in their body and over time in relationship to others is very effective, regardless of whether the pain is physical or emotional.

What does it really take to have a lasting, vibrant, and loving relationship?

Relationship doesn’t just happen. There’s an idea that once the commitment is made or your partner is found, than all is well. All flows from there. Suddenly years have past and you look back and say to
yourself: “It just happened! (How magical!)” This is more of a happily ever after idea.

The truth is that meeting your partner and deciding to make a commitment is only the first leg of the journey … that’s when the real adventure begins.

As you grow in relationship, old shells of how you’ve operated before crumble away. If you are truly going deep in relationship, it eventually becomes a serious blow to your ego. As “two become one”
each of you has to confront in yourselves exactly where you get stopped in being fully present to and loving with your partner.

To support you in remaining connected with your partner it is helpful to understand the differences in how each of you may approach life. Each of you has a core that is more feminine or masculine. To
one whose core is more feminine, life is the very essence of being and that being flows with each moment. The ups are high as the breath of life exhales radiance, color, warmth and beauty in the elements of nature: waves crashing, flowers blooming, the warm sunset on the horizon. And the lows are low as full emotional
expression of varying flavors arises unpredictably like the weather.

For the masculine, the essence of life is the deep independent expression of their true force into the world. That expression can be taking a stand for what they want, deciding to live their life purpose, or simply calling their partner into the present moment with a touch, a kiss, and an embrace. The feminine and masculine express themselves differently and find their true essence met and appreciated in very different ways. Each gets fulfilled in different ways and to each being this need is the deepest and most intricate
expression of who they really are in the world. The trouble is, oftentimes the partner expressing the opposite essence, has no clue how to deal with and include their mirror.

Jen and I have found that the most recent events in our life have put pressure upon our relationship. Our independent ways of being in the world are being put to the test and where they are weak and unable to support our relationship, the “cracks” have been showing up. One of the major communications in relationship is finances. Who earns what, how to cover expenses, who contributes what amount, and how to meet each partners needs for food, shelter, fun, and life. Feminine and masculine expressions of energy approach the conversation of money from different perspectives.

For Jen, her masculine energy has been out of balance and she has been the one trying to do, make calls, write emails, and wield her masculine power to make things happen. I, on the other hand, have cultivated a feminine energy of trust, relying on the Earth to provide, and breathing to create clients and money. Each of us has been missing the fact that we are approaching the question of money and business from the opposite of our divine gifts. Because Jen was not coming from her natural feminine core, she has felt exhausted and her body has been calling to her with pain and discomfort. I have been feeling lost, without direction, scared, and unwilling to pick a path and stick to it. Together, we lost our spark, our attraction, and have been missing the passion we so deeply want with one each other.

Needless to say, this has placed tremendous pressure on our relationship. Not only with regard to money, but with our ability to be truly in love and present with each other as the “shit hits the fan!”

AND we still remain focused on and committed to love! We look to each other to challenge our habits, to love us into our natural expressions of being, and to keep returning to our hearts and the spark between us. It is NOT always easy. And the tools we practice together are cultivated and honed under the fires of challenge, discomfort, and love.

We are the walking expression of our work. We offer ourselves to your relationship as humble guides and loving partners. We know how challenging it can be to feel love when the trials and tribulations are placing your love under duress. Come share your experiences and hone your skills in relationship with us. Consider checking out our last Happily Ever Now workshop.

May your relationship be a source of fulfillment, growth, and enlightenment!

Hawaiian Healing Practice Honors the God in You

A couple years ago I was introduced to a fascinating individual, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. I received a handout that stated he was able to cure an entire ward of criminally insane patients, WITHOUT ever seeing them! He accomplished this remarkable feat by applying the concept of “Total Responsibility.”

The course I was taking at the time was delivered at a bodywork school during our holistic health practitioner training program in 2004. The notion of taking total responsibility for my life at that time was simply inconceivable (and even today brings up resistance). I wanted to blame my parents, my friends, strangers, the United States, the world, and anything else that I could to take the pressure and the attention off me. Through this program I learned to enhance my ability to help my clients by moving beyond simple massage therapy and adding coaching support. Suddenly now, I was not just “fixing” my client’s bodies, I was actually helping them to better understand themselves. Of course, as I stepped into asking my clients to take responsibility for their health and well-being, I was confronted by the areas I was not doing the same.

Here’s a quote from the book, Zero Limits, that describes what “total responsibility” means:

“The purpose of life is to be restored back to Love, moment to moment. To fulfill this purpose, the individual must acknowledge that he is 100 percent responsible for creating his life the way it is. He must come to see that it is his thoughts that create his life the way it is moment to moment. The problems are not people, places, and situations but rather the thoughts of them. He must come to appreciate that there is no such thing as ‘out there’” (137).

At first blush this is tremendously challenging to swallow. This concept had my mind/ego go a bit nutty. My mind chatter blared: “You mean I’m responsible for the car accident that the insurance company said wasn’t my fault? My girlfriend’s PMS, taxes, my client canceling their appointment, and the refridgerator breaking … Cat poop on the carpet AND my sister hating her husband … AND the wind blowing, sun shining, sky falling… AND, AND, AND!!!!!”

To put this into perspective, ask yourself this question: Who else is there experiencing, living, and being in all areas of my life?

The answer, of course, is: only ME! The challenge is to accept all of my life, the problems and the blessings, as my responsibility, simply because I am the one constant in all of it. Thankfully, Dr Lew does not leave us hanging there with nothing to do when things are not going our way, accept to grin and bear it (although I will say smiling does help).

To take this concept a bit further down the rabbit hole, I will quote Zero Limits again:

“The only sure way [to transform yourself so the rest of the world changes too] is with ‘I love you.’ That’s the code that unlocks the healing. But you use it on you, not on others. Their problem is your problem, remember, so working on them won’t help you. They don’t need healing; you do. You have to heal yourself. You are the source of all the experiences” (47).

You may want to reread the above quote several times.

I ask you: What if by accepting responsibility for every thing and every person who comes into your life you are at the threshold of completely changing how your life appears? What if in the process of owning all of your life, you actually step into the power position and begin to create your life? What would you create from that perspective? How would you change your life, right now, knowing, trusting, and loving your own power?

I have learned the lynch-pin of the magic is to love myself more for how my life is. It is a way of honoring my creative ability; in the same way religions honor their unique god’s creation of the world. In taking full responsibility, the sorcerer’s hat falls upon my head and I become divinely gifted and all my creations (whether my mind judges them as good or bad) are beautiful and perfect as they are.

By taking the position of loving yourself and all that you manifest, you are placed firmly in the driver’s seat and the world is your oyster. Test drive this concept for yourself and see how your world changes.

I highly recommend reading Zero Limits to help expand upon and clarify these concepts. I will return with another post about the next set of tools that Ho’oponopono provides to forgive and accept the results and situations in your life that were (or continue to be) not to your liking.