Recently I wrote a piece marketing an upcoming workshop I am offering with my partner, Jen Aly, called Happily Ever Now: The Adventure of Conscious Relationship for new couples and singles ready for a committed relationship. As it goes when offering training in the very material that we live by, our own relationship has come under the fire of a lot of growth. In particular, Jen and I have been confronted by our own life experience dealing with the ups and downs (and mostly downs of late) of financial prosperity.

Fueled by a fabulous workshop we attended under the juicy name Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment, I have had a whole new understanding of the difference between the sexes. And yes, not only are there blaring biological differences, but also differences in perception, thinking, approach to life, and so much more. And especially with regard to the conversation of MONEY!

Here are some of my thoughts:

The feminine approaches money from what is needed now. Cupboards almost empty, lets get groceries now. I’m almost out of makeup, time to visit the store. The wedding is next week, I don’t have anything to wear, I want to purchase a new gown for that event. Keep in mind, that when the money is not immediately available to address a need, if the feminine is divinely aligned she will “dance” her the money into existence, calling on the natural forces of the Earth with which she is naturally and bodily aligned. If she is not “resting” in her natural power to call the energy of the Earth plane to her will, than she will feel unsupported and scared, like the ground is falling away from her feet, causing her to “freak out.” Tears, moaning, and uncontrolled shaking scares the hell out of her masculine counterpart because he approaches money from a different perspective.

The masculine trusts that from his point of view, money and finances are a linear, one-to-one relationship. Going to work and putting in 8 hours on the job, leads directly to 8 hours worth of pay. If there is no money in the bank account, the masculine essence will look for ways to address that need by listing clients to call, objects to sell, and other brothers to mobilize into action to address the lack. He needs direction, action, and the world to meet this directive expression of his power. A man, unaligned with his masculine, will rest and wait for the money to appear, “hoping for the best” and isolating himself from the world until “the coast is clear.”

These differing approaches will place pressure on each partner to show up in the relationship to the best of their ability. For Jen, her masculine essence has been out of balance and she has been the one trying to do, make calls, write emails, and wield her masculine power to make things happen. I, on the other hand, have cultivated a feminine essence of trust, relying on the Earth to provide, and breathing to create clients and money. Each of us has been missing the fact that we are approaching the question of money and business from the opposite of our divine gifts. Because Jen was not coming from her natural feminine core, she has felt exhausted and her body has been calling to her with pain and discomfort. I have been feeling lost, without direction, scared, and unwilling to pick a path and stick to it. Together, we lost our spark, our attraction, and have been missing the passion we so deeply want with one each other.

Needless to say this has placed tremendous pressure on our relationship. Not only with regard to money, but with our ability to be truly in love and present with each other as the “shit hits the fan!”

AND we still remain focused on love! We look to each other to challenge our habits, to move us into our natural expressions of being, and to keep returning to our hearts and the spark between us. It is NOT always easy. And the tools we practice together are cultivated and honed under the fires of challenge, discomfort, and love.

Being in relationship … who new it was a path to enlightenment?